The Art of Discernment: Awareness vs Entanglement

Introduction

This is a conversation many project professionals can relate to: 

Colleague: “Are you in the loop on this?”  

Me: “I’m aware of it.”  

Colleague: “Do you want me to bring you in?”  

Me: “No. I’m aware of what’s going on, and if anything changes, just let me know.”  

Colleague: “Are you sure?”  

Me: “Yep. It doesn’t impact us, and with our current priorities, I’d rather not spend the time.” 

In the modern corporate ecosystem, information is often equated with power. We are conditioned to believe that to be an effective project leader, we must have our fingers on the pulse of every conversation, email thread, and “water cooler” whisper. Amidst this pressure lies the anxiety of FOMO—Fear Of Missing Out. In the workplace, this manifests as a compulsive need to be constantly “in the loop.” 

Being in the loop suggests relevance. It signals trust and confers status because we are “in the know.” However, for project leaders, the desire to be included in every conversation is not a strength; it is a liability. 

The goal is not to be oblivious, but to be situationally aware of what impacts your project. Effective leaders understand they don’t need to be in the centre of the loop; they simply need to be aware of its existence and context. They know how to observe organisational complexity without getting caught in the gears. 

What separates the busy project manager from the effective project leader? Discernment—the ability to judge what is important and what is just noise.

The Cost of the Loop 

In project management terms, a “loop” is often a vortex of politics and drama. Because project professionals cut across functional silos, we have a front-row seat to the action. We see the feuds, experience the departmental friction, and hear the whispered anxieties. Being in the loop is appealing because it feels like work. 

However, inclusion is expensive. Keeping track of every issue requires massive mental energy and constant context-switching. Loops manifest as unnecessary meetings and “reply all” threads at 8 PM. If you, as the project leader, allow yourself to be distracted by peripheral drama, it inevitably trickles down to your team. You become a conduit for noise rather than a shield against it. 

One vital lesson I’ve learned is that “No” is a complete sentence. While I generally advocate for a flexible approach, sometimes a hard boundary is required. In the opening dialogue, I refused to be brought into a situation where the cost of inclusion was too high. By setting that boundary, I maintained focus on what mattered most. 

Once you set boundaries, you can achieve awareness without entanglement. You can know about the fires burning in the organisation without being the one holding the hose—especially if it’s not your project that is burning. This demonstrates competence: you are aware of the situation, but disciplined enough not to get involved. 

When the Shield Fails 

As project leaders, we see the messy wiring behind the organisational dashboard. Practising discernment is necessary not just for your own sanity, but for the protection of your team. The team needs to function as a highly efficient engine; introducing external stress throws that engine out of alignment. 

I learned this the hard way. I once agreed to be “in the loop” regarding a disagreement between two senior directors. My project’s scope was set, we understood what “Day 1” success looked like, morale was high, and stakeholder feedback was positive. 

Then, the directors of Sales and Marketing got into an argument over how it would be sold.  This was a new Health and Wellness application that would be added to an existing platform.  They talked about bundling versus not bundling, special pricing, and other topics unrelated to the application itself.  Their argument spilt over not only into their departments but also into others.  Initially, I monitored from afar.  Eventually, however, I was talked into helping by the director of Sales, who said a product isn’t successful unless it’s sold.  With that, I scheduled the first in a long series of meetings. 

In a very short window, the time I spent with the team diminished.  I missed standups and status updates.  Decisions were taking longer.  Issues and escalations weren’t handled as quickly.  The team noticed I wasn’t as present when we were together.  Then morale dropped, and anxiety skyrocketed when I said, “Sales wants to change everything.”  They thought I meant the application, but I meant their approach to selling.  It took a couple of weeks to recover from those words. 

Eventually, I had the opportunity to talk to the CIO, who immediately intervened.  I was taken out of the loop, and Sales and Marketing were held accountable for their work.  I had to rebuild confidence with my team and assured them I would not get involved in other departments’ drama again. 

The Four Questions of Discernment 

Discernment is a practised discipline cultivated by experience. Early in our careers, we want to be the source of all information. As time goes on, we realise that it isn’t sustainable. 

My realisation came when a former boss—a calm, calculated leader—gave me a framework for determining whether I needed to be in the loop. He told me to ask four questions: 

1. Does this impact my team’s capacity to deliver work? 
2. Will this impact my resources? 
3. Does this impact my dependencies? 
4. Is this something that concerns my sponsor or leadership team? 

If the answer to all of these is NO, monitor from a distance. If any of these are YES, it is up to you to determine how deeply involved you need to be. Not all loops are created equal. 

Conclusion

In the world of project management, attention and focus are your scarcest resources. Every moment spent navigating a “loop” is a moment stolen from supporting your project, your team, and your stakeholders. Be observant, be aware, but most importantly, be discerning.