When Bad Decisions Don’t Travel Up, Projects Break Down 

Introduction

One of my favourite things during my time at NATO was the “kitchen time.” Yes, I’m a big food lover, but I’m a coffee lover, too. And the kitchen was the place for coffee and chit-chat. Some might see these informal chats as unproductive, especially when working with billable hours, as is often the case in project management. And yet, the kitchen was where the most important work got done. It was a safe space for people to share both personal and professional stories. It was a place for building connection and trust. 

My job at the time was Stakeholder Engagement Coordinator. I was the General Manager’s bird’s-eye view, ensuring he remained aware of problems that could become full-blown crises. He often joined us in the kitchen, connecting with his team and guests from other cross-functional departments. 

The challenge, when you sit that high up, is that a lot of critical information doesn’t reach you. One reason is that top leadership needs to maintain a helicopter perspective and manage their mental bandwidth. They don’t need to know everything, like when an exception report is filed for a minor procedural change. But they do need to know when an exception report is filed for a delay that will cost the customer more money and push back deliverables. Sometimes, a project manager doesn’t have enough leverage to manage customer trust on their own. That’s when you need top leadership to step in and reassure the customer that their best interests are being protected. It’s often psychological; people feel more secure when they see the “big bosses” are paying attention to their project. 

This kind of filtering and communication is critical to prevent bad news from turning into crises simply because no one had the courage or the communication skills to escalate it. 

This is a huge risk, especially in the age of AI. Artificial intelligence brings additional layers of complexity that project managers must navigate. And it takes much more than technical competency to manage the emotional discomfort that comes with delivering bad news to senior leadership—especially if they don’t want to hear that a customer promise won’t be kept. 

Before we dive into how you can use emotional intelligence as a communication and risk management framework to become the next-generation project leader that delivers safe, secure, and successful projects, let’s look at the specific risks AI brings to project management. 

The Amplified Risks of AI in Project Management 

Artificial intelligence offers powerful tools for optimisation and data analysis, but its integration into project management isn’t without significant risks. These new challenges demand a higher level of human oversight and emotional intelligence to manage effectively. 

Erosion of Critical Thinking 

AI can deliver answers and project pathways with incredible speed. The danger lies in becoming overly reliant on these outputs without questioning them. Project managers may accept AI-generated solutions at face value, dulling their own critical thinking skills. This can be disastrous when the AI model misses a subtle, context-specific nuance that a human expert would have caught. The actual skill is not just getting the answer from AI, but knowing the right questions to ask and when to challenge the conclusion. 

Lack of Cultural and Social Intelligence 

An AI model has no real understanding of your company’s culture, the political dynamics of your stakeholder group, or the delicate social fabric of your team. It might suggest a “logically optimal” communication strategy that is culturally tone-deaf or a resource allocation that, while efficient on paper, demotivates a key team member. Projects are human endeavours. Without a project manager’s social and cultural intelligence to interpret and adapt AI’s recommendations, you risk alienating stakeholders and disengaging your team. 

Heightened Cyber Risks and Data Breaches 

AI systems, especially those connected to third-party platforms, create new entry points for cyber threats. Project management tools integrated with AI handle a vast amount of sensitive information—from client data and financial records to strategic project plans. A data breach could not only derail the project but also inflict severe reputational damage and financial loss upon your organisation and your client. Managing this cyber risk is no longer just the IT department’s job; it’s a core project management responsibility. 

Breakdown of Human Connection and Trust 

Trust is the currency of project management. It’s built through empathy, consistent communication, and genuine human connection. Over-relying on AI for stakeholder updates, team feedback, and progress reports can create a sense of distance and automation. An email generated by an AI cannot replace a direct, empathetic conversation about a project delay. When human interaction is minimised, trust erodes. Without that trust, stakeholders are less forgiving of setbacks, and team morale can plummet, making it even harder to communicate bad news effectively when it matters most. 

Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) is not just a “soft skill.” It’s a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way. Think of it as your “street smarts” for the workplace—the ability to read the room, manage your reactions, and build genuine influence. 

The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence 

The impact of EQ on professional success is well-documented and profound. It’s often the single most significant predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence. 

• A landmark study found that 90% of top performers are high in emotional intelligence. On the flip side, just 20% of bottom performers are high in EQ. ¹
• EQ is responsible for 58% of performance in all types of jobs. It is the single biggest predictor of success and is more impactful than both technical skill and IQ combined. ²
• Google’s internal research, Project Oxygen, found that the top seven characteristics of their most successful managers were all EQ-related skills, including being a good coach, communicating and listening well, and showing empathy. ³

The EQ-i 2.0 Model: A Framework for Leadership 

The EQ-i 2.0 is one of the most respected and scientifically validated Emotional Intelligence assessment tools. It organises emotional intelligence into five key areas, or composites, which are made up of 15 distinct competencies. Understanding these is the first step to mastering them. 

Here is a breakdown of each competency and how it directly impacts a project manager’s ability to handle the upward communication of bad news and project risks. 

Self-Perception Composite: The Inner World 

This composite is about understanding yourself. Without a strong inner compass, it’s impossible to navigate the external world of stakeholders and team dynamics. 

1. Self-Regard 

• Definition: Your ability to respect and accept yourself, essentially your inner strength and self-confidence. 
• Impact: A low Self-Regard PM fears looking incompetent and avoids conflict. A high Self-Regard PM has the confidence to stand by their data and decisions, even when delivering bad news. 
• Example: A new AI integration project is failing its initial tests. The PM with low Self-Regard hides the negative results, hoping they’ll improve, for fear that leadership will blame them. The PM with high Self-Regard immediately presents the test failures as a critical finding, confidently stating, “This isn’t working as designed, and my professional judgement is that we need to pause and re-evaluate before we invest more resources. Here’s my plan.” 

2. Self-Actualisation 

• Definition: Your willingness to persistently try to improve yourself and engage in the pursuit of personally relevant and meaningful goals. 
• Impact: A low Self-Actualisation PM can become stagnant and disengaged, seeing their job as just a series of tasks. A high Self-Actualisation PM is driven by purpose and sees challenges as opportunities for growth for themselves and the project. 
• Example: A project faces a major, unexpected regulatory change. The PM with low self-actualisation sees it as a career-limiting disaster. The PM with high Self-Actualisation frames it to leadership as, “This is a challenge, but it also gives us an opportunity to become the industry leader in this new compliance standard. This is meaningful work, and here is how we can pivot.” 

3. Emotional Self-Awareness 

• Definition: The ability to recognise your own emotions and their impact on your thoughts and actions. 
• Impact: A PM with low Emotional Self-Awareness is driven by feelings they don’t understand, leading to poor decisions. A PM with high Emotional Self-Awareness can identify their feelings and separate them from objective reality. 
• Example: The project’s main sponsor is unresponsive, causing delays. The PM feels intense anxiety. The low awareness PM lets that anxiety cause them to avoid the sponsor and become irritable with their team. The high awareness PM recognises their feeling as “fear of project failure” and uses that data to act, telling their director, “I need your help. My anxiety about this sponsor’s silence is telling me this is a critical risk. I need to escalate this now.” 

Self-Expression Composite: Making Your Voice Heard 

This is the action-oriented part of Emotional Intelligence. It’s about how you outwardly express the understanding you have of yourself. 

4. Emotional Expression 

• Definition: Openly expressing your feelings, both verbally and non-verbally. 
• Impact: A PM with low Emotional Expression is hard to read and can seem disingenuous or robotic. A PM with high Emotional Expression builds trust by being authentic. 
• Example: The team misses a crucial deadline. The low expression PM reports the facts to leadership in a monotone voice, creating a feeling of unease and distrust. The high expression PM says, “I’m genuinely disappointed we missed this, and I know the team is, too. But I am confident in our recovery plan, and I want to share that with you.” This vulnerability builds a connection. 

5. Assertiveness 

• Definition: Your ability to express thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a direct, open, and honest way without being aggressive. 
• Impact: A low Assertiveness (passive) PM allows stakeholders to walk all over them. A high Assertiveness PM clearly and respectfully communicates boundaries, needs, and facts. 
• Example: A senior leader proposes a significant scope change late in the project. The passive PM agrees to it, knowing it will cause the project to fail, but is too intimidated to say no. The assertive PM states clearly, “I can absolutely see the value in that feature. To incorporate it now, however, will delay our launch by six weeks and cost an additional $50,000. Is that a trade-off the steering committee is willing to make?” 

6. Independence 

• Definition: The ability to be self-directed and free from emotional dependency on others. You make your own decisions. 
• Impact: A PM with low Independence needs constant validation and is afraid to make a call without consensus. A PM with high Independence can take ownership and act decisively. 
• Example: The project team is split on two technical solutions. A PM with low Independence is paralysed, escalating the non-decision to leadership and appearing weak. A PM with high Independence gathers the data, listens to both sides, and makes the final call, telling leadership, “After a thorough review, I’ve made the decision to proceed with Option A. I take full responsibility for this choice, and here’s the data that supports it.” 

Interpersonal Composite: Building Bridges 

This composite is about your “people skills”—developing and maintaining relationships based on trust and compassion. 

7. Interpersonal Relationships 

• Definition: The skill of developing and maintaining mutually satisfying relationships characterised by trust and compassion. 

• Impact: A PM with low skill in this area has transactional relationships and little influence. A PM with high skill has built a network of allies who will support them during a crisis. 

• Example: A project needs resources from another department whose manager is notoriously difficult. The PM with weak relationships sends a formal email, which is ignored. The PM with strong relationships, who has had “kitchen time” chats with this manager, can call them directly and say, “John, I’m in a tough spot and I could really use your help on this.” 

8. Empathy 

• Definition: The ability to recognise, understand, and appreciate how other people feel. It’s about seeing the world from their perspective. 

• Impact: A PM with low empathy doesn’t understand stakeholder motivations and communicates poorly. A PM with high empathy can tailor their message to resonate with leadership’s concerns. 

• Example: A project delay will impact the sales team’s quarterly bonuses. The low-empathy PM presents the delay to the Head of Sales, focusing only on the technical reasons. The high-empathy PM starts by saying, “I know this delay is going to put your team in a difficult position with their targets, and I want to acknowledge that upfront. Let’s talk about how we can mitigate that impact together.” 

9. Social Responsibility 

• Definition: Willingly contributing to society, to one’s social groups, and generally to the welfare of others. It’s about being a team player. 

• Impact: A low Social Responsibility PM operates in a silo (“my project, my problem”). A high Social Responsibility PM understands how their project fits into the bigger picture and acts for the greater good of the company. 

• Example: The PM discovers that a shortcut taken by their team will create significant technical debt for another team down the line. The low-responsibility PM ignores it to meet their deadline. The high-responsibility PM reports it to leadership, stating, “We can hit our date, but it would be irresponsible. It will create a bigger, more expensive problem for the platform team. The right decision for the company is to take a one-week delay to fix it properly.” 

Decision Making Composite: How You Use Emotional Information 

This composite focuses on using the emotional data you’ve gathered to make effective choices and solve problems. 

10. Problem Solving 

• Definition: The ability to find solutions to problems in situations where emotions are involved. It includes the ability to understand how emotions impact decision-making. 

• Impact: A PM with low problem-solving skills gets stuck when a plan goes awry. A PM with high problem-solving skills can navigate emotionally charged issues and find a path forward. 

• Example: A key vendor goes bankrupt. The team panics. The low Problem Solving PM focuses on blame and the “disaster” of the situation. The high Problem Solving PM calms the team, acknowledges the frustration, and then immediately pivots, telling leadership, “We’ve lost our vendor. The emotional impact on the team is high, but we are already vetting three alternatives and have a plan to minimise the schedule slip. Here’s what we need from you.” 

11. Reality Testing 

• Definition: The capacity to remain objective by seeing things as they really are, rather than how you wish or fear them to be. 

• Impact: A PM with low Reality Testing operates on wishful thinking (“optimism bias”). A PM with high Reality Testing is grounded in objective evidence. 

• Example: The project is two weeks behind, but the team feels like they can catch up. The PM with low Reality Testing reports to leadership that they are “amber but confident,” setting everyone up for failure. The PM with high Reality Testing looks at the velocity charts and says, “My gut and the team’s hope is that we can catch up. However, the objective data shows we are tracking for a 10-day delay. We must act on the data, not on our wishes.” 

12. Impulse Control 

• Definition: The ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive, or temptation to act. It’s about thinking before you speak or act. 

• Impact: A PM with low Impulse Control reacts defensively to bad news, damaging credibility. A PM with high Impulse Control can absorb pressure, pause, and respond strategically. 

• Example: During a tense project review, a director aggressively accuses the PM of mismanagement. The PM with low Impulse Control immediately fires back, “That’s not fair! Your department was late with their deliverables!” The PM with high Impulse Control pauses, takes a breath, and says, “I understand your frustration. Let’s set aside the issue of fault for a moment and focus on the three biggest drivers of the current delay. Can we look at the data together?” 

Stress Management Composite: Thriving Under Pressure 

This composite is about your ability to cope with the inevitable challenges and pressures of the workplace. 

13. Flexibility 

• Definition: Your ability to adapt your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours to changing situations and conditions. 

• Impact: A PM with low Flexibility is rigid and gets derailed by any deviation from the plan. A PM with high Flexibility can pivot when circumstances change. 

• Example: The customer’s priorities suddenly shift, making half of the project’s planned features irrelevant. The low-flexibility PM complains to leadership about the “scope creep” and tries to stick to the original, now-obsolete plan. The high-flexibility PM sees it as a new reality and tells leadership, “This is a significant pivot. Let’s immediately schedule a workshop to redefine our MVP based on this new information. Our plan is no longer valid, but our goal to deliver value to the customer remains the same.” 

14. Stress Tolerance 

• Definition: The ability to withstand adverse events and stressful situations without “falling apart” by actively and positively coping with stress. 

• Impact: A PM with low Stress Tolerance becomes overwhelmed and makes poor, panicked decisions. A PM with high Stress Tolerance remains calm and clear-headed in a crisis.  

• Example: Two key developers quit a week before a major release. The PM with low Stress Tolerance spirals, sending frantic, emotional emails to leadership that create more panic. The PM with high Stress Tolerance takes a walk, assesses the actual impact, and presents a calm, rational plan to leadership: “We’ve had a major setback. We are facing a definite delay, but we can manage it. Here is our revised plan to use contractors and re-prioritise tasks. It will be difficult, but it is manageable.” 

15. Optimism 

• Definition: An indicator of your positive attitude and outlook on life. It’s about remaining hopeful and resilient, despite occasional setbacks. 

• Impact: A PM with low Optimism (pessimism) can demotivate a team and present problems as insurmountable. A PM with high Optimism can inspire confidence and find opportunity in failure. 

• Example: An AI-driven project fails to deliver the expected ROI in its first phase. The pessimistic PM reports to leadership that “the project is a failure and the technology probably isn’t viable.” The optimistic PM reports, “Phase one’s ROI didn’t meet our ambitious target, but we have generated invaluable data on what doesn’t work. This learning is critical and positions us to succeed in phase two. Here’s what we learned and how we’ll apply it.” 

The AI transformation isn’t just disrupting industries; it’s accelerating. This means the project leadership of the future isn’t on the horizon—it’s here now. 

Conclusion

Successfully navigating the risks of this new digital age, especially on mega-projects where government support, brand reputation, and market leadership are at stake, demands more than just technical know-how. Relying solely on traditional competencies and outdated methodologies is no longer a viable option. This era calls for bold, emotionally intelligent leaders who can manage profound uncertainty and inspire human connection. 

The only question is: are you ready to become the project leader the world needs? 

References:

1. TalentSmart. 2009. “Emotional Intelligence 2.0.” ↩︎
2. TalentSmart. 2022. “Why You Need Emotional Intelligence To Succeed.” ↩︎
3. Google re: Work. 2019. “Following the data: The research behind great managers at Google.” ↩︎